Getting Naked

A book with the title "Getting Naked" was given to me to read by my ex-Boss and Mentor, Himanshu. Till date, i think it is the best book I have read on how to consult our Clients. The focus of the book is Client Trust and Loyalty. In one of my earlier blogs, I have spoken on the topic of 'trust' and how do we build that. This book takes that logic to another level and showcases that regardless of what service you provide, these principles will help you develop stronger relationships. But remember authenticity is at the core. If you cannot be authentic, and do lip service to these principles, people will see through you. Let us take a look at these principles :

a) Always Consult instead of Sell - Walk in to the Client's set up and start telling them what changes they can make. Do not worry about the fact that you may be giving away too much IP or the fact that this is scope creep...just provide additional help. The Client will start to rely on you and call on you whenever they need a sounding board or any advice. Isn't that a good place to be.  One of my partners actually lived by this principle. I remember landing once with my entire team at the Client's office, even without a signed contract in place. I know that at first i felt a little irritated, but you know what, his dedication paid off. The CEO would have never gone to anyone else, especially as we were so keen to start work.

b) Give away the Business: Related closely to the previous one.  Consult even before they have become a  paying client. 

c) Tell the kind truth: This one is tough; this is about telling your clients, the facts but in an empathetic way... offer help to sort through the situation. At one of our clients, we were struggling with one of the Client's team member; the person was not just able to contribute and instead forcing us to take heat. We raised the matter to the Supervisor suggesting that  it might be good for the Supervisor to do some in person mentoring, in addition offering the support of one of our colleauges to help aid the project in the meanwhile. The Client got the message and we saw improvements immediately.

d) Enter the danger: This is the best, it means simply countering any situation confidently, dealing with the elephant in the room. Present it as an observation instead of an accusation, maybe present it first to your client confidante, before bringing it to the larger group. This will help enable the success of your long term project relationship.

e) Ask dumb questions and make dumb suggestions and make mistakes : I am all for data based consulting, but sometimes, you need to put every thought out there, without worrying about how you will be percieved. Don't worry about making an error, you will be better for it.

f) Take a bullet for the Client: Sometimes, you have to take one for the team, be it Client or our internal teams. We were once presenting a key deliverable on the Competency Framework to the Client Stakeholder team. One of our key SMEs, cross questioned us in front of the audience, but we could not afford to call it out, as our project team credibility would have been eroded. We decided to take one for the team, and handle the problem separately; and we sure did :-)

g) Make everything about the Client: The relationship is not about you impressing the client with your skills. It is about them, you have to hone their skills and make them successful. Remember they always know more about their business, than you will.

h) You have to honor what the Client does: if you cannot, then pass on the work. It is not worth doing something for a client you cannot respect regardless of the money.

i) Do the dirty work: Do not hesitate doing every small thing, everything counts as a successful implementation. If it means photocopying, co-ordinating....just get it done.

I have tried using some of these principles in the past, needless to say they are very powerful, more than we can imagine, I recommend that you read the book !

Making friends over the age of 30

I came across this interesting article day, in NY times. Those of you, who are on connected with me on facebook will recall the link i shared on my timeline sometime back.
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/15/fashion/the-challenge-of-making-friends-as-an-adult.html?_r=1&pagewanted=all

The article examines why we find it so tough to make friends over the age of 30. His moot point is that the ability to make Best Friends or Close friends like you did when you were in school or in your teens is over post 30 years.

Seems scary right; given that I moved between schools every 2 years, moved to a brand new city for my college, and my MBA years are best forgotten @ XL, given my obsession with getting good grades and having extra currciular to boast on my 'resume'. My only chance of making close pals was once I exited my teenage years.

Well maybe that is just me, because my hubby's closest circle is his college circle. They have been buddies forever, and that circle has grown over the years. Friends have got married, had children and the group has grown. An aunt counts her social circle pre-dominantly of her business school, college and school classmates, and their spouses.

I think we find it harder to make closer relationships, as we approach midlife, given changing priorities, or critical events in our life, say you got married. I have some very close friends from work, however our interactions did reduce when I got married. We still can pick up from where we left, but our meetings are reduced, as they don't move in the same circle of friends that me and my husband share in common. It definitely helped my Aunt that her husband went to the same school as she did, so they could have a common pool of friends.

Friends also end up serving myriad roles. One of my closest pals is SD. We may not talk as often, but I do not hesitate to talk to him about career related advice. I consulted him, when I made my last move to a health care company. Similarly, if we need to crib about personal lives, or the lack of it, I dial a close pal in Singapore, and we can talk for hours like last week. You know who you are. If i want to travel to Tanzania or just anywhere ..or just have fun, I dial my friend from Bangalore or Gurgaon...and we get together..

Friendships in the professional world also are marred by a sense of competition and self preservation, intentional or not; people get re-assigned or travel, and the nurturing period for a friendship is never available.

In the article, the author examines, that people have an internal alarm clock that goes off at big life events, like turning 30. It reminds them that time horizons are shrinking, so it is a point to pull back on exploration and concentrate on the here and now. So suddenly you want to spend time with kids, or focus on your spouse, or being financially stable. I completely agree, however it is a cycle. What you want to focus on changes... A close friend of ours, married and father of two; recently confessed that he feels "life is slipping him by and he does not have any time to focus on things that he wants to do". So he ends up traveling, long drives, do date nights with his wife, meet us for coffee or lunch..etc.

Regardless, I am on the wrong side of 30, and try very hard to make new friends;... a colleauge and I planned to go shopping, as soon as our schedules + Delhi weather could get coordinated, its been 3 weeks. I am not giving up :-)